My reflections on ADHD during Mental Health Awareness Week - a guest blog from Jacqui Lloyd
The 10th - 16th May 2021 marks Mental Health Awareness Week and we’re really proud to be sharing the personal experience of our committee member, Jacqui Lloyd who opens up about her mental health struggles, the challenges of lockdown, and having a formal diagnosis of ADHD.
Jacqui works for QBE as a Multinational Insurance Network Manager and has two young children
At GIN we strongly encourage everyone to talk about their mental health and always ask for help if you need it. We have included some links at the bottom of this blog that might be helpful if you recognise that you might be struggling at the moment.
“I’ve always known I’m ‘different’ to everyone else, and over the years I’ve struggled with not feeling “normal” and I’ve found it difficult to feel like I fit in. When I feel things strongly I never know if they are justified emotions or if it’s just because I am Me, I feel more than others a lot of the time, emotional sensitivity can be hidden but not from yourself. I struggle with being really up and then really down.
“When I noticed the lows getting lower and my passion for things diminishing I knew I was being overwhelmed, not by anything specific, I just found life really, really hard. I knew I didn’t want to feel like this, I have two children and a job I really enjoy but there was always something that made life harder for me. This made me anxious, clumsy and constantly worried.
Talking was the first step
“I spoke to my boss and admitted I was struggling, unfortunately or fortunately around the same time the first lockdown hit. So everyone was anxious, worried and felt locked in, I felt calmer. Relief even that not going out was one less thing to worry about. Working from home- perfect!
“But after a while even the new normal became a struggle. I spoke to my manager again, who was brilliant and suggested I call our private healthcare. I know how lucky I am to have this available to me, it meant no long waits to see the people I needed to see and I started 12 weeks of Dialectal Behaviour Therapy (DBT).
“I was signed off from work every Tuesday to attend a six-hour Zoom session. To start with we’d practice mindfulness so that we would be in ‘wise mind’ when discussing the tasks for the day. Each week a different module including emotion regulation, accepting stress happens (distress tolerance) and how we interact with others.
“I threw myself into the course and absolutely loved it, I felt really relieved to meet people who struggle like me and don’t quite work the same as everyone else. I felt validated.
“At the end of the course I started a shorter version of weekly therapy called stepdown. I’m half way through those sessions now, and although I miss the intensity of DBT I am enjoying meeting new people.
Understanding my diagnosis
“I have now had a formal diagnosis of adult ADHD which has made me understand a lot more about my experiences and how I might react to certain scenarios. When we looked through my school reports it was clear that the ADHD had always been present, but it took until my thirties to get diagnosed. There is a theory that more boys get diagnosed because they show stereotypical hyperactivity and disruptiveness, but young girls try to hide it more so tend to be missed. I hope that this changes so more people can get support earlier.
“I’ve also started to understand that having ADHD does make me different, and means I’ve sometimes found being ‘normal’ harder than others.
“Some days I might get over enthusiastic and throw myself into a task, and will have a tendency to interrupt, but other days I feel really overwhelmed by everything and flit between tasks, never really ticking things off the do to do list!
It’s a journey and I’m still learning about myself
“To help me manage my diagnosis I’ve been trialling some new medication and I feel really positive for the future. We don’t talk about things like this at work but maybe we should!
Jacqui is proud to show her children that speaking up is okay
“I’ve learnt that It’s okay to be different, as long as companies help support their people where they need it. I am fortunate that my line manager has given me this opportunity to concentrate on myself, and lockdown gave me the extra headspace to do that. I feel anxious about how that will be when we all return to how things were but now I know why, it’s easier to manage.
“I’ve only told a few friends so far but when I now read any symptoms or descriptions about ADHD I laugh because it’s so totally me, I just didn’t know there was a name for it before now!
“Without raising that my mental health was suffering I would have never been diagnosed and treated. It’s important to say when you don’t feel like you are feeling 100%.
“Since being diagnosed I’ve had my feelings validated (and at times challenged!). Some days that’s been difficult, other days its been amazing, but most of all I’ve felt supported by QBE to do this: to take the time and make the space for my own mental health. This benefits my company, but more importantly my children and husband. I am proud of myself and also QBE for allowing me the space to do this.”
Jacqui Lloyd
Multinational Insurance Network Manager
Gender Inclusion Network committee member
Additional forms of support
If you do find yourself struggling at the moment, please talk to someone – please don't suffer in silence. Below is a reminder of all the support and resources available to you.
NHS Mental Health Helplines: Whether you're concerned about yourself or a loved one, these mental health charities, organisations and support groups can offer expert advice.
Mind: Emergency advice, crisis coping tools and a dedicated Infoline are all available through Mind. You can also take a look at some of their key actions and resources on our recent guest blog with Mind in the City.
Samaritans: Whatever you're going through, a Samaritan will face it with you. They're available 24 hours a day, 365 days a year. Call them for free on 116 123.Shout: A free, confidential, 24/7 text messaging support service for anyone who is struggling to cope. Since launch in May 2019, they've had more than 400,000 conversations with people who are anxious, stressed, depressed, suicidal or overwhelmed and who need immediate support. Simply text 'SHOUT' to 85258.
Your workplace: Many employers have Employee Assistance Programmes, Mental Health First Aiders and qualified HR professionals that can support you. Always reach out to your leader or a colleague to get a bit of extra support.